Monday, May 12, 2014

Broken and Bored

Kid from favela: Did you break your arm?
Me: No, I separated my shoulder training with some girl.
Kid: Are you going to break her now?

If I had to choose an injury, I would go with broken nose. 

I mean what is your nose really for? Breathing right? Well you have a mouth for that, so basically a nose is an extra, highly breakable appendage that you can live without. More importantly, you can train without. 

But I didn't get to choose my injury, Claudinha did that for me. If there is one thing that I hate more than being injured, it would probably be wrestling, so it was quite appropriate that I separated my shoulder during wrestling practice. Damn double leg take downs.... this is why I pull guard. 

After hurting my shoulder I waited around with a huge bag of ice for an hour until training officially ended, then went into the locker room to change. If I had broken my nose this wouldn't have been a problem. But I didn't break my nose, I hurt my shoulder, to the point where I could barely lift my arm.

The result: I spent a good 5 minutes in the locker room standing on a bench, using a clothes hook, and my one good arm to try to get my shirt off, while simultaneously praying that no one would walk in and see what I was doing. 

(The day I hurt my arm. How many UFC fighters 
can you spot? I think there are 6 plus a 5x world champion

Then it was off to the UPA (emergency care) I went. After adamantly refusing an IV (I hate needles more than I hate wrestling), I was given a little red pill and sent to get an X-ray. I had to wait around for an hour in the freezing cold until the technician came back from her lunch break. Thankfully, after about 30 minutes of waiting the little red pill started to kick in and I wasn't so much pain. After getting my X-ray and being told that my shoulder is probably dislocated, they sent me to Miguel Couto, another hospital in Gavea, to see an orthopedic doctor, get 5 more X-rays, and wait around freezing my ass off for another hour. 

The result: 5 free X-rays, 1 sad excuse for an arm sling, and 1 month off of training due to what I determined to be a separated shoulder based on a.) The fact that they didn't pop anything back into place b.) Google X-ray images.

(This is my improved version of the sling. They actually put my arm INTO the
material and sent me out of the hospital wearing what appeared to be a sock 
on my arm. I was pissed beacuse I waited an hour for that mess)

The most devastating part of being injured was that I was going to miss out on the Arnold Classic tournamet, IBJJF Brasileiros in Sao Paulo and my first MMA fight. I was reduced from training 4 times a day to NOT training for 4 weeks. So whats a girl to do....

Get girly of course, over the last two weeks I have:

1. Done my hair (probably shouldn't have done that with the shoulder but whatever). 

2. Painted my nails (I grew them out AND painted them)

3. Done my makeup everyday

4. Gone on REALLY long walks on the beach

(Found these dogs while drinking 
Coconut water)

5. Gone to parties in the favela 

6. Taken a lot of selfies

7. Played with a lot of nunchucks
(I can do this now)

8. Watched other people train 

(This is apparently not easy on the family jewels)

9. Watched people get tattoos

My attempts to be feminine have gotten some interesting comments such as 

"Oh Nico, you look more like a woman" ~ Nogueira
"Nico isn't the same, she gets up in the morning and does her make up instead of training"~ Sue
And my favorite:
"What the hell is going on here"~ Cheeky Mike

I managed to comply with two and half weeks of my 4 week sentence (I'm currently at the beginning of week four). Not training is harder than it may seem. I went from having a ton of friends and people I see every day to sitting at home by myself watching my nails grow. The first thing Claudinha said when I showed up at the gym was, "We don't listen to doctors"... ok it wasn't the first thing but it WAS said. Even some of the pro coaches that I don't know so well keep asking me where I have been. So, needless to say, I've been sneaking my way back onto the mats to work some one-handed submission and boxing techniques. 

Hopefully I'll be fighting again soon...

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