Thursday, November 13, 2014

Ms. Fat Booty and Other Fun Stereotypes

Sunday Conditioning (females only!!)with Renan Barao's personal conditioning 
coach here from Nova Uniao Kimura to help train him for his next fight.

Gringos think it's the Brazilians that are juiced up but Brazilians are convinced that American's are the ones with the cutting edge drugs. It's like the some kind of "he said, she said" act on Jerry Springer were each month fighters are spitting out new accusations and even dumber fighters are getting caught up with dubious drug test results. So what is the true story about steroids usage among top MMA athletes in Brazil?!?!

Your reading the wrong blog to get that answer...
I don't know what the true story is behind the big names and steroids, but I will lay out my own experience with the stereotype. I will also admit that, yes, everyone in Rio thinks Dillashaw is using. No, we don't accept that he is pure.

Gringos are always accusing Brazilians of using steroids. We often joke around saying that everyone is on juice because its the cheapest option. And it actually is, you can get a 6 week cycle of Winstrol for $US80 bucks where as 3K of Gold Standard whey protein costs $US 151. And then there are additional costs when you consider that Gold Standard only accounts for muscle growth and not recovery so it needs to be combined with BCAA, glutamine, most times a pre-workout/recovery (UFC regulations only allow for one kind of pretraining, beta alanina, which if taken consistently aids in recovery) and sometimes creatine although I prefer to stay away from that one. Then if your a professional athlete and you work out 4 times a day and you are competing against someone that may be on juice you are probably going to want to get one of those Malta or Dexo supplement things too. These are meant to replenish carbohydrates and aide recovery.... I think. I lost track of the total cost, but basically if you are buying nationally you are looking at $US 300+  per month for full supply of supplements.

Long story short. 

Yes. Steroids are RIDICULOUSLY cheaper than protein.
This should also explain why I am always trying to hit people up for things like protein and vitamin C (vitamin C costs US$40).

Eternally gratefull to Naa the Mighty for sending me vitamins and
medicine! I love my MiKiDo Famiy <3

While we are on the topic of steroids we might as well delve into some other popular Brazilian stereotypes. Take, for example, the famed Brazilian booty. People from all over the world flock to Brazil once a year to see sensual Brazilian women flaunt what their mama gave them during carnival. The hypersexualization of Brazilian women, and I guess men as well, has become paramount. While some Brazilians have become offended about this degrading image of the Brazilian women, others are working their asses off to achieve it...

And I mean literally working their ass off! or on.

The Brazilian booty is not a natural phenomenon. No, in fact the average Brazilian is born with no ass, just an extended back. They acquire their voluptuousbacksides through years of what Brazilians call "malhando bunda". For an American this term is so unfamiliar that its even hard to translate! malhar being to lift weights and bunda being your butt, so  malhar bunda would be like lifting for your butt. While American women are hitting up elliptical machines and stairmasters to get their desired measurements, Brazilian women are strapping massive amounts of weights to their ankles and working their butts out.

As a professional fighter I consider myself to be in incredible shape and more than capable of lifting some heavy machinery around. But Brazilian women are amazing specimens, and relentless in achieving their fitness goals! Its not uncommon that while I'm deadlifting massive kilos in some basketball shorts I get distracted by a tiny little blonde in a workout onesies with no back and her boobs popping out who comes waddling by with the same weight that I'm deadlifting strapped to her ankles. She will then procede to climb up onto some ledge drop one heavily weighed ankle over the side and proceed to squat her way to the infamous Brazilian booty.

In addition to squats, leg lifts from all fours is also a popular booty builder! While, I find this exercise nothing short of hilarious/ highly embarrassing, I've got to admit, these girls be lifting a serious amount of weight. Way more than my tiny ankles and American gluts could handle!!!

For those that can't afford to go to the gym to malhar bunda there is also the natural alternative: favelas. Its virtually impossible to live in the favela without going up and down a stupid amount of stairs at least 20 times a day. Whether you knew it or not, the stairs and hills of favelas are also designed to create the desired hypersexualized imagine of the Brazilian fat booty!

If you're not achieving the Brazilian backside you can just revert to Stereotype A: steroids.

Steroids aren't just for athletes, its used by anyone trying to get the idealized body to show off at the beach. I've been told that steroid usage in the country increases 3fold right before carnival as Brazilians try to get into their best shape for a week of drinking and partying on Rio's beaches.

Carioca Flow:
Rio is definitely filled with some cool street art and graffetti!

A pillow case that I found at a local craft martket

Once stores clothes and they roll down the metal doors there 
is a lot of art work that is revealed!